“Who switched off the TV?”
The angry voice almost made Mili miss catching the falling teacup.
It was a proverbial dark and stormy night… well evening. When
she walked in house, she beelined to kitchen to make a pot of tea.
“You were asleep ma!” Shouted back Mili while putting the
kettle on.
“No I was not! “Ma replied angrily.
Outside cracked a big thunderbolt. The old house rattled, a
cupboard fell open, a few tea bags spilled down.
“I suppose we are having Oolong then” Murmured Mili.
The house is really getting old and needs work done. But
talking to a bunch of people and allowing them in her inner sanctum sanctorum was
never Mili’s strength. Give her pen and papers she would write pages of
conversation, having one of those in real life … not fun.
“I may have closed my eyes for a bit, but I was NOT
sleeping”
“well, your eyes were indeed closed and your nose was making
strange noises.” Smiled Mili
“You need use that amazing imagination you were born with
and stop plagiarizing Sukumar Ray, when you make fun of your mother” Ma walked
in the kitchen, simultaneously frowning and smiling, making a weird face “I am
your mother, do not treat me like a forgetful toddler”
“You are my mother” Agreed Mili “you are also a bit of a
forgetful toddler”
“hrrrump” grumbled ma “you make fun of me all the time. You and
your father ..”
Ma lost track of what she was saying as she started looking
around looking a little lost.
Milis parents spent 50 long years together. They had good
times and bad. There was a lot of laughter involved, almost as many angry
words. They were friends, enemies. They project partners and yet ferociously independent of each
other.
Which is why Milli was shocked to see very soon after her
father passed away, her mother began to lose herself too. A mised step here,
a forgotten name there.
When doctors diagnosed age related dementia. Ma went to war
against it
Learning 3 languages online, check.
Solving Suduku every day, check.
Going for walk and exercise. Check and check.
But time has two things in abundance, itself and cruelty.
It kept on chipping away bit by bit of her short-term
memory, till she would keep repeating the same story not remembering telling it
five minutes back.
First it would make her angry. She would throw her book to
the wall, when she could not remember what she read two pages back.
But eventually Mili watched with a broken heart, her
fiercely independent mother losing confidence in herself. Saying a
little less and smiling a bit more in fear of repeating the same story, or
saying something that would worry others. And that’s when her Quiz Show
addiction grew. The rounds of this show contained Mythology, Mathematics,
Physics, classic literature, nothing ma did not imprint in her childhood brain.
And questions change so rapidly, her short-term memory can forget if it wants.
Ma didn’t care.
“let me turn on the TV and get you your tea” Mili said
walking in ma’s bedroom.
“When did you dye your hair white? And why did you cut it?”
“Ha?”
“you have such beautiful hair! Why do you insist on messing
with it? This is the problem with your generation. No eye for natural beauty,
always dye this, enhance that, contour those … whatever hell that means”
Some time back Mili realized that her ma sees the world
through a veil, seeing some of it, and making up the rest from memory,
assumptions and whatever feels most likely. But every once in a while the veil
lifts a bit and Ma sees a clear picture.
“quite some time back ma, you remember” chided Mili mildly.
“Don’t take advantage of your poor mothers dementia Mili” Ma
replied sternly “ I remember perfectly well, on Monday you had your full head
of long dark hair. I remember clearly cause when you walked in, I was hiding …”
Ma abruptly stops, looking around her bedroom confused.
“Did I give you your birthday gift? I was hiding it in my …”
she looked at the side of her bed, where the glass bookshelf should have been.
“yes ma I got it. I cant believe you kept all my
certificates and report cards from even nursery days, and all those photos, I
loved the scrapbook ma. You must have spent hours on it”
“I wanted to make your 40th special” Ma smiled
“After all you are our Project”
Ma often called Mili her “project”, saying no other project
in her long career made her work this hard or gave her this much satisfaction.
“your 40th birthday” murmured ma “time does fly.
Ha?”
“Yeah”
“How many years has it been ?” Ma asks in a matter of fact
voice.
Mili looks up startled.
“you look much older than I remember. This stupid
dementia” Grumbled ma bit.
“It has been a minute” agreed mili. Ma scrutinized Mili for
a second before bursting into loud, rhythmic laughter.
“oh my god! It so like me …” gasps ma between spills of
giggles, sounding finally like the mother Mili grew up with. Always analyzing everything around her world
and finding the ridiculous. A couple of books got knocked over table but Ma
could not stop herself.
“Just how like me to forget … to forget” hiccups mother, Mili smiled knowing what comes next
“to forget I died!! Hahahahha” ma kept laughing on, as the
plastic clock hanging from wall dropped, not able to take the whole room
shaking anymore. Mili could not stop herself and started laughing too.
Whole house rattled like its epicenter of an earthquake, books
fell off the shelves, chairs toppled. Over the years Mili got rid of almost
everything breakable from the house. Her Ma always did love laughing loudly and
Mili loved her for it. But cleaning up broken glass after each time, not so
much.
Once finally ma had her fill of the laughter of the
situation ma stops. Ma explained to mili once, being stuck around the house not
being able to move on, just because she forgets she died, is “undoubtedly the
most ridiculous thing ma has ever heard her whole life …well and beyond”. She finds
joy in this situation every time she remembers.
“Did you finish that Novel you were writing Mili”
“yes Ma” she finished that one, and some others after that.
“you always had a knack of telling stories, and such a
lovely imagination” proudly proclaims ma
“I will get the tea” Milli gets up. Remembering first time
she “met” Ma after she passed away. Mili could not visit Ma’s house for a long
time, regret and sadness choking her up, leaving her paralyzed every time she
planned. But it was almost a year, and it was time. She HAD to go, sort things
out.
She was cleaning up drawing room when the TV kept switching
on in Ma’s bedroom. After she turned it off the third time, and was inspecting
the remote to see why its malfunctioning, a bored voice spoke up behind her
“Would you please stop doing that? I am trying to watch my quiz show”
Mili spun around so quickly that she tripped and fell on her
behind. A pale shadow of Ma was sitting there on her easy chair.
“that’s Poseidon the sea god you idiot! Prometheus is the
one who stole fire” Shouted Ma’s ghost at the TV.
Mili did not know how long she was sitting there, before
Ma’s ghost took notice.
“Whachu you doing on the floor Mili? Why are you gaping like
an Baboon? Come on get up. Are you feeling unwell? Want some tea?”
“yes … I … I will make it” Mili Ran out of the room.
That was decades ago, Mili thought as she walked back in the
same room with two steaming cup of tea. Ma does love her tea next to her, even
if she cant drink it anymore.
“Why do you look so sad my love” Ma commented inhaling the
lovely aroma of the tea.
“I miss you Ma” Mili replied smiling. The first time she was
able to confess this to ma, she dissolved into sobs. Ma tried to calm her down
and got very agitated when she could not quite hug her tight like she used to.
That’s the day the glass bookshelf burst and Mili found the birthday gift Ma
was making for her.
That day too was long back in past, time flows in an endless
flow.
Ma smiled back at Mili “What for! You Silly Girl” Mili
laughed being called a girl at the age of seventy.
“I am right here. And …” Ma pondered “I think I am going to
be around as long as you remember”.
Mother and daughter settled down with their tea watching the
show now.
Ma continued thinking out aloud “you always had such a vivid
imagination; I am so proud of you.”
