Have you ever read a book, that scares the living day light out of you? No, I am not referring any Stephan king series. I am talking about Paulo Coelho. Veronika decides to die. I have only started reading the book, about the girl who decides to commit suicide, because .... well its the because that is scary. Quoting the book, "she was was not killing herself because she was a sad embittered woman, constantly depressed. ... She believed herself to be completely normal. Two very simple reasons lay behind her decision to die, and she was sure that were she to leave a note explaining, many people would agree with her.
The first reason: everything in her life was the same and, once her youth was gone, it would be downhill all the way, with old age beginning to leave irreversible marks, the onset of illness, the departure of friends. She would gain nothing by continuing to live; indeed, the likelihood of suffering only increased.
The second reason was more philosophical; Veronika read the newspapers, watched TV, and she was aware of what was going on in the world. Everything was wrong, and she had no way of putting things right-that gave her a sense of complete powerlessness."
The book goes on, where in simple and logical way she plans her suicide, she does not want her landlord to have to clean up a pool of blood, so she decides against slashing her wrists. She does not want her parents to suffer recognizing her disfigured body, so she decides not to jump off a building or hang herself. Instead she chooses sleeping pills.
In a twist of fate though, she doesn't die, after taking all the sleeping pills, someone saves her. And then again, she was obliged to look at the life that lies before her. She would go back to her life, an nondescript job, tasteless meals, pointless gossips and meaningless affairs. And then one day, giving up to everyone's nagging, she would marry a man "whom I oblige myself to love". As time will go by the marriage will fall apart, first by losing interest in each other and then through infidelity. But she will keep having babies, which will make them "feel closer to each other for a while and then the situation will go back to what it was before".
Then "I will beginning to put on weight l and I'll start to go on diets, systematically defeated each day, each week, by the weight that keeps creeping up regardless of the controls I put on it. Meanwhile I will have more children. I'll tell everyone that the children are my reason for living, when in reality my life is their reason of living." And so on life will go on, and she will go on " spending all day thinking about suicide, without having courage to do anything about it".
So she decides she was right. "It was best to put an end to everything now, while she was still brave and healthy enough to die".
What scares me, is how logical it all sounds! I understand this is a critically acclaimed book and a known inspirational read. So I am guessing by the end of the book, Veronika will find something that changes the monotonous passivity. Cause as the things stand in this book, I am afraid to read another line. I keep saying, but I felt that, but I thought that and keep on agreeing with someone who thinks best thing you can do with your life is to end it.
