Thou shalt never take an early morning flight! (flying part 2)

Ok now that I have bored you with ever-modest description of myself. Let me share my pearls of wisdom with you.

And I say avoid the morning flights. You ask me why? You tell me that you have office to attend. Take kids to school. Clean your house. And attend other chores. I say if it’s so urgent that the late night flights, till 4am is good. But after that never take a flight before 9am.

You ask me why. Well simple enough dear Watson. Imagine a enclosed limited place packed by at least 50-60 odd people with incomplete bowl movement …. Well you get the drift. And one must take account of the fact that flights are often delayed by one or more hours. Ok, if its getting too horrible to imagine you can stop now. And if you are in an unavoidable situation that you HAVE to take an early morning flight (the situation should be at least amounting to something like “only you have a document which can stop a nuclear war and you must fly economy flight in early morning to delivar it” ) follow these life saving tactics.

As soon as you board, dump your luggage and run for the toilet, if the airhostess tells you must wait till the flight is on air, make a puppy face, briber her … do whatever you have to do, but get your share of toilet then and …. Well generally get done with it, cause for the rest of the flight you are not coming back this way

Always take your seat around the middle to front end of the plane. And if you didn’t get those seats, take out your perfumed hanky and get something like a talibani face gear and meditate. I am not saying that would work …. But they nothing does anyway.